February 2012
I can see why people become cynical about other people. Often people expect so much and give so very, very little in return. This is especially profound in people who are unwell. Often you come away feeling you have made some progress, only to go back a step (or even to square one) the next day. Or the next month. Or even the next year. Yet they still expect you to pick up the pieces, to put up...
Lying. You’d think that it would get tiring, wouldn’t you? Lying to someone about things. The big, important things. The little, odd details.
Apparently not when it comes to me. The more open, honest and hard I try, the more I am lied to.
Is this something that happens to anyone else?
And sometimes a moment we shared will instantaneously fill my mind (this one involved chocolate cake, a quiet corner and kisses that made my head spin.) And that warm sensation spreads through me, warm and tingling and I smile to myself. And I want to get into bed and pick up the phone and hear your voice that I know like the back of my hand, and say that I am sorry. I am sorry for everything, all...
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Watch
Games of Thrones - Season 2
My week
Has involved restraining far too many people to the floor than I’d care to remember
Being told such horror stories about patients dying in restraint
Coming home to Adam so incredibly tired
Him being so kind and wonderful, making sure I have a cup of coffee ready and my laptop to relax
Last night we went out to the park to watch the ISS fly past
We ordered indian food, had wine and put...
It feels like I don’t have time for anything anymore.
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Funeral Party - City In Silhouettes
This is my...
On facing reality
So many of my fellow course friends, including the one who is working alongside me on the ward, would like to become Clinical Psychologists.
However, I’d wager that for most of them it is the prestige they desire. The shiny honour of Clinical Psychologist; their colleagues calling them by that ever desired title, Doctor; the complex new therapies to use on their patients like guinea...
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George R R Martin,
I’d like to thank you for writing. What I feel when reading your works is something I haven’t felt since I read Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter as a child. I find myself excited by the prospect of commuting and travelling for giving me precious hours to get lost in the world you have created. A time where I completely forget where I am and who I am, yet am...
Frank lunchtime conversations about sex with notfondofasking.
Classic us.
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WatchBrand New know how to end a show.
(Apologies for the sound and the abrupt ending - I was thrown to the side quite violently!)
The great thing
about Valentines day is that you see such spontaneous acts of loveliness. My friends are speaking to me about plans they are making for their loved ones, asking my advice on hiding surprises. It makes me smile.
I was sitting in a restaurant in South Kensington with my friend last week and a gentleman swept in holding a single red rose. He walked over to one of the waitresses and gave it to her....
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rectumofglory:dirklalonde:homoerotics:
I’M NOT OKAY WITH CHRIS BROWN PERFORMING AT THE GRAMMYS AND I’M NOT SURE WHY YOU ARE
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And sometimes you feel your feet moving underneath you and suddenly alongside a sea of people you melt shouting the words to the songs. Your songs. Songs that have documented every major event in your life from the age of 13. Lyrics that spill from your mouth faultlessly - you know every break and breath and subtle change like the back of your hand. Melodies that are your skin, your soul; part of...
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paradoxicalsentiments:
I have a theory
that in the context of a psychiatric or mental hospital, the person who acts the most normal, demonstrates the most functionality, is the person also considered the most crazy
the whole fucking world follows a formula: conform to the masses or there’s something wrong with you
Having worked in a psychiatric ward and with individuals with mental health...
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Brand New - You Won’t Know
Nothing, and I...
Today
I’m starting to feel more settled.
The ward has been quite calm these past couple of days.
Though when I say calm it’s all relative. The alarm still went off a fair few times and there was still quite a lot of screaming, shouting and demanding.
I read quite a lot of case notes today to become familiar with the patients history and diagnoses. Some of them are so incredibly sad. I...
life-after-survival:
”A man once told the Buddha, ‘I want happiness’. The Buddha said remove the ‘I’ that’s ego, now remove the ‘want’ that’s desire, now all you are left with is, Happiness.”